Hi, Laura! Sorry I missed your call, I was in a lecture, but, um, thanks for your message. I’m not sure if you’re still in class so I’m sending you a voice message back.

I’m so excited that you’re now living in London! It sounds like you’re settling in really well. I’ve never actually been to Shepherd’s Bush before, but I’ve heard lots of good things about it. We’ll have to arrange a weekend when I can come and visit you soon so you can show me around your new hood!

So, first: the queues. Maybe … I should have warned you about that before. The worst thing you can do in England is push in front of people in a queue, even if you are joining someone else to buy your things together. In England, we like to queue and we like to queue correctly, and that means waiting your turn and letting everybody in front of you go first. Watch out for that when you get on a bus or the Tube, too. I guess you’ll have to learn to be a bit more patient, sorry!

And, no, don’t worry – the shop assistant in the stationery shop? He doesn’t fancy you. “Love” is a strange one, but it’s just a nice name to call somebody, even those you don’t know. So it’s just meant in a friendly way and it’s kind of on the same level as “dear”.

Ha ha, and I did laugh when you talked about the word “sorry”. Yes – we really do say “sorry” an awful lot. In fact, recently I walked into my bookcase (don’t ask) and I said “sorry” to it. It’s just kind of built into my brain as an Englishman! I would say we’re just being polite. It shows that you accept something has gone wrong, and I feel like saying “sorry” is a kind of back up just in case you really did do something wrong. My rule is simply: if in doubt, say “sorry” (even if you don’t really mean it…).

And … what was the last thing you mentioned … oh yeah, meal deals. Gosh, I really love meal deals. But I think I’m being biased. I just love how you can pick and mix things so you’re not having the same thing every day. It saves a lot of time, too, because you don’t have to sit and wait like you would in a restaurant or café, so it’s great for a short lunch break. And salt and vinegar crisps are the best, how dare you! Ha ha. They will grow on you, I’m sure. Definitely try cheese and onion crisps. Oh, and prawn cocktail crisps, too. Awh, now I’m hungry.

Anyway, as I said, I’m so glad you’re settling in well and it sounds like you’ve come across a load of cultural differences already in the first week! Let me know if you have any other questions. Maybe you could call me later tonight? I’ve got nothing planned from about 7, so just give me a ring if you have time! Hope your English lesson goes well. Speak to you later!